Parenting is hard…but it’s a hell of a lot easier when we support each other instead of tearing each other down. ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

Working moms, I admire you. Stay at home moms, I admire you. You are both great mothers.
Breastfeeding moms, I admire you. Formula feeding moms, I admire you. You are both great mothers.

Cloth diapering moms, I admire you. 

Disposable diapering moms, I admire you.

You are both great mothers.

You babywear, or you use a stroller, who cares. You’re a great mother. 

Maybe you bed share, or your child has always slept in the nursery. You’re a great mother. 

Your house is spotless, I admire you.

Maybe you’re house looks like a bomb went off, I still admire you…I bet you were having fun with your kids ๐Ÿ˜‰ or maybe you just needed a break for one day. It’s cool, you’re a great mother.

You homeschool your children, I admire you.

You send your children to school, I admire you.

You choose to vaccinate, or you don’t. Whatever your choice. I admire you.

You have one child, I admire you.

You have 6 children, I admire you.

Your child only eats organic, or maybe the grocery basket isn’t large enough to hold all of the lunchables your kids demand to eat every week…I sure admire you.  

You don’t allow your child to watch tv, or maybe your child has their own iPad. You’re all great mothers.

However you choose to make sure your child’s needs are met, and whatever choices you make regarding your OWN children- when you believe what you are doing is in your child’s best interest… I admire you, and you’re a great mother. ๐Ÿ’—

 โ€œWhat itโ€™s like to be a parent: Itโ€™s one of the hardest things youโ€™ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.โ€ โ€• Nicholas Sparks

Parenting is hard…but it’s a hell of a lot easier when we support each other instead of tearing each other down. ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—sometimes… We just need to hear someone say we are good mothers. 

My son plays with baby dolls.

When a 14 month old boy wants to wear his sisters baby doll in a doll carrier, you let him. “Oh but what is that teaching him” they will say. I can hear it now. “Aren’t you worried about ..” My answer is this. If my son wants to play with dolls, he may absolutely play with dolls. It’s teaching him that men can be nurturing too. 

For 20 minutes today, Joseph wore his baby, snuggled it, kissed it, and fed it a bottle. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. ๐Ÿ’• 

We own brown dolls, and beige dolls..and my children love them all the same. Children are so innocent. Life is so simple for them. Love, and be kind. 


 
I have no worries regarding my son playing with dolls. I DO however worry for the day my children venture out on the world on their own and are introduced to people who do think differently. 

I pray that my children are leaders, and not followers. When they witness someone being bullied, or they themselves are bullied, I pray that they will stand up for what’s right. I pray that they will remember what I’ve put my heart into teaching them,  and that is to love and be kind.

It’s simple, what makes my children happy brings me joy that’s unmeasurable. 

“It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.” – L.R. Knost 

You won’t know how much you’ll miss this, until you do

We hear it so often, that our children will grow so fast, and to enjoy it while we can, that those words start to lose their meaning.

All of the sudden, It’ll hit you like a ton of bricks. When you come across the spare diaper bag  to find it full of sleepers and onsies your child has outgrown. It’s been so long since he wore that size, that you can’t even recall where you packed it away. And you find yourself thinking what every parent which grown children has said to you, “they really do grow so fast” but this time those few words hold so much more meaning. 

When motherhood feels hard, and my heart is heavy, I take a moment and think back to the beginning.

When we longed to be parents, and I wondered if we would ever be able to conceive a child. Finding out on Father’s Day that I was indeed pregnant, and telling Christian that we were going to be parents. The first time I felt you kick, and wondered who you would be, what you would look like, preparing for the unknown.  I held you in my arms, and I was forever changed.

The first few weeks of my son’s life, he needed to hold my hand to be able to sleep. He needed me. Now, I find myself scooping him out of his crib, while he’s sound asleep, because I need him too.

You know those days…The ones where you’re sure the baby never took a break from nursing, or let you out of his sight for even a second. You can’t remember the last time you showered, or if the pile of laundry in the hall is clean or dirty – but you change into it anyways because clean or dirty- at least it’s dry..unlike the shirt you had on that was covered in spit up.  Finally, the day comes to an end and the second your rest your head on your pillow, someone will need you. 

These days, the ones you are so certain will never end, they do .. And this phase of your life, is just a memory. That is why I try so hard to take it all in. The smell of my baby, the way I ache to hold him when he reaches for me from his crib, and when he rests his head on me- melting into me. Everything in that moment is all we both need. I wish I could bottle it -for a few years from now, because I know that photos could never come close to this feeling.  ๐Ÿ’—
Because you won’t  know how much you’ll miss this, until you do

 

I love the way she loves life

Today, is the day before my first born goes to her first day of preschool. I wanted today to be special. The day before my little birdie leaves the nest. ๐Ÿฃ 
We spent our day browsing through some local shops per my 3 year olds request. She found a toy she wanted, and I politely asked her to put it back, and explained to her that just because she sees something she likes doesn’t mean she can have it. I asked her “what will Santa bring you if I buy you everything you want”? I had expected a total melt down. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and said “I will put it back mommy, it will be here later, it’s ok let’s just go see the honey bees at the nature center”. 
In that moment, I was so proud. What a great idea.
She said, “mommy, we should call white hairs mamaw and she can come wiff us, because I really like her”!
We picked up her great grandma and spent the day watching the honey bees make honey, the squirrels in the trees, the birds bathing in the little water falls, and the hummingbirds in the bird feeders. 
I watched her explore and take in the world with such simple and pure joy. She ran through the grass without a care in the world. I love the way she loves life. 

  
Neva said to me on the way home, “mommy, this was a great day, I love you”
“Yes Neva….it was a great day I love you” ๐Ÿ’—
That toy she wanted, probably would have gotten lost had I bought it for her- but the memories we made today will not be lost. What a beautiful day ๐Ÿ’

My first, raw post. If this could help just one person to know that they are not alone, I would be thrilled ๐Ÿ’—

My college roommate Kelsey is in town from Seattle and inspired me to write a blog…. So I decided I would start here and just see.

I wish it wasn’t socially unacceptable to admit when we are having a hard time….. I earned my bachelors in psychology while I was at UD. I spent countless hours in class and at the library from dawn until way past dusk learning about psychology- it captivated me, it consumed my life. I would like to share my story.

I’m dealing with postpartum depression.

…. Back in November, when Joey was 11 days old I called my doctor. I knew my symptoms, and I knew what I needed to do. I cried over everything. I wondered why I was crying when everything was perfect? Why doesn’t my brain know I am happy? Why do I hurt so badly? I AM HAPPY. I felt guilt, a lot of guilt. I felt guilty that Neva was no longer an only child. I felt guilty that Joey will never have me to himself like Neva did. I was tired. Does Neva know that I still love her? This baby cries, why does he cry so much? Why is he always in pain? Why can’t I do anything to make him stop crying? Why can’t he latch properly? He nurses every half hour, why is breastfeeding so hard when it’s supposed to be natural? Why won’t my baby sleep more than 15 minutes even at night? Does Neva think she lost me? Does she understand? Does she know I miss her? Does my new baby know I love him? Why am I crying? I’m not losing weight. Thank god my husband is patient and still loves me. ….my mind ran a million miles a minute…and I wasn’t sleeping.

7 months later I am still struggling with postpartum depression, but It has gotten a bit better.

A few weeks ago, I was feeling better.
Up until Joey’s wellness checkup.
I started watching what I had been eating and then the doctor told me Joey didn’t gain any weight between appointments….he actually lost weight..

I’ll lose the weight one day- it’s more important for Joey to gain weight…so I can’t watch what I eat as much as I would like to. Everything will be ok. It’s ok to not be perfect. I’m doing the best I can. My kids know I love them. Oh how I hope they know I love them.

Right now what consumes my thoughts is that I am going to miss sitting in the rocking chair for hours on end nursing Joey as he plays with my hair with one hand and wraps his other arm around me. I am going to miss Neva interrupting him nursing and looking at her with his big blue eyes. I’m going to miss their giggles as they play together. I miss being able to give Neva all of my attention.

Parenting is hard. I wish people didn’t pretend like it wasn’t. It is also the most rewarding part of my life. Waking up to my sweet babies no matter what time of the night it is…I know I am blessed, and my heart is so so so full. I just wish the dark clouds in my mind would stay away…I know they will eventually. I know I’m happy.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that it can happen to anyone, and as many of my friends are mothers, or about to be….if any of you are struggling… I am here. I am always here. And please, all of you… Keep loving me. Your kind words mean much more to me than you probably know.๐Ÿ’•and I am hopeful.

I’m going to miss this ๐Ÿ’œ

image

Some days I think I’ll never catch up. I’ll never catch up on laundry, dishes, errands, cleaning….That used to get to me, until I was okay with not being super mom.

Today I felt joy…. I felt joy as I rocked our son to sleep, and again as I read to Neva as she fell asleep snuggled up next to me..and again when my husband kissed me goodnight.

I spent a while organizing the living room tonight. Once I was finally done I sat on the clean floor and cried. I cried because I’m going to miss this.

I’m going to miss the asparagus, rice and carrots that fell from Joey’s high chair and mixed into the toys on the floor.
I’m going to miss constantly making sure Neva didn’t leave any little toys around that Joey could choke on.
I’m going to miss the yogurt finger prints all over the couch, and the Cheerios under every piece of furniture.
I’m going to miss my babies needing me next to them so they can fall asleep.

It may look like a mess, but to me, it is the 15 books Neva asked me to read to them today, the arts and crafts we made together, their imaginations going wild, and enjoying every second of it. Tomorrow we will start again..

one day, before we know it, we will only have a small toy box for our grandkids that I will lug out every now and again….and I’ll tell my kids when they try to help clean it up before they leave-that it’s ok, I can do it. I’ll do it and I will cry just like I did tonight, because it will seem like only yesterday that I was picking up their toys ….